


Sasuke and Sakura's Night Out!

by plumblossomed



Series: SasuSaku Month 2019 [7]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Drugs, F/M, Language, Modern AU, Ridiculous, SasuSaku Month 2019, one wild night genre, ssm19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 00:50:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19712956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plumblossomed/pseuds/plumblossomed
Summary: day 7: one of these nightsSakura and Sakura don’t get out much, but just one night is enough to make up for a lifetime of staying in.Very much inspired by my love for both the movie Booksmart and those memes where it’s like aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you want to just go absolutely fucking feral? Yeah, nerd SasuSaku going feral basically





	Sasuke and Sakura's Night Out!

**Author's Note:**

> something to make up for yesterday’s angst, this was a ton of fun to write!! Also why do i keep writing things i dont know about?? Idk anything about the good old mary jane or drugs in general lol but just go with it this isn’t really supposed to make sense. I also couldn't come up with a title I liked sowwy 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto, Booksmart, or anything mentioned in this story. I’m just a wee speck of dust in the universe

“One of these nights we should do something actually fun.”

“Since when did watching movies with me stop being fun? Did you want a snack or something? I saw that post you tagged me in this morning, I guess we can build a blanket fort on the trampoline, but you can’t complain about it being cold.”

Sakura sat up from where she was lounging on Sasuke’s bed, staring at the wall. “Now that you mention it, I could go for some boba. Or an edible.”

Sasuke, sitting in his bean bag, stared at Sakura in disbelief, “do you even know what’s in those?” 

Sakura straightened up even more and looked down haughtily, “of course I do. Naruto told me a long time ago. And doesn’t a brownie sound so good right now?”

“Sakura, you got drunk off a few sips of your Aunt Tsunade’s rice wine and you’re telling me you want to get  _ high _ ? We’re about to go to college and you want to fry your brain?” 

“We’re about to go to  _ college  _ and we’ve never done  _ anything.  _ Do you know how lame that is?”

Sasuke seemed to contemplate Sakura’s words for a moment before giving her a wolfish grin, sounding every bit the teenage boy he was, “that’s not true. We’ve done stuff. We’ve had  _ sex _ . Lots of it.”

  
One of Sasuke’s pillows sailed across the room towards his face, accompanied by a screech, “I knew it, I knew you’d say something dumb! What does it matter when you’re already a stupid boy with no brain. Those ads are totally false, by the way. What’s the harm in trying weed, Sasuke? I wanna try, so you should do it with me.” 

Despite being the captain of the speech and debate team, he couldn’t find anything to argue about. He texted Naruto; at least he could trust their “plug” or whatever he’s called by half the school. 

Except, they actually couldn’t because he was somehow all out and directed them to Kiba instead.

“Seriously? We’ve known Naruto, like, forever? And he lets us down now? Kiba is smelly and weird. His weed probably...smells like weed.”

Sakura doesn’t let up, “just text Kiba, he’s not that bad. Don’t be lame.” 

“What should I even say? Leaf emoji? Side eye emoji? Plug emoji? Is he going to give us a friends and family discount?” 

“Sasuke, I know you love using color coordinated spreadsheets to organize your life, but now is not the time. Mention my name. Maybe he’ll give us a hot girl discount.” 

“I just sent him ‘weed’ with a question mark. Oh, he already responded. He said come over right now and he’ll ‘give us the hook up.’ Sakura, does that mean he wants us to have a threesome with us?” Sasuke asked with false, exaggerated concern.

That earned Sasuke another pillow thrown at his face (this time it’s his favorite dinosaur plushie) before Sakura gets to her feet and announces with a rather dramatic clenched fist, “get in the car, we’re going to Kiba’s.”

* * *

“Yooo, Sasuke! Woah!  _ And  _ Sakura? The Kiba Hut is going to have a blessed night if these two legends are here! Come on in guys, we’re having a kickback.”

As Kiba opened the door wider to let them in, a haze of smoke wafted out and the smell hit them like a wall. They had definitely come to the right place. 

They saw Kiba’s usual crew, Hinata and Shino, sitting on the couch looking very blissed out already, along with a number of other kids from their school. Sakura checked her phone,  _ isn’t it like 9 pm? Is this late or early for this kind of stuff?  _

“My guy Naruto told me you’re here for some famous Kiba Hut edibles, and like, welcome to the bake sale, but I’m telling you man, you gotta try the newest from Shino. Shit’s dank, bro.” 

The couple turned away from Kiba to look at Shino sitting there with his sunglasses still on despite being indoors. He raised a single hand in greeting, then gestured to a plate of brownies plus something less familiar in front of him. “The new goods or pot?” 

Sasuke looked disturbed by the sight and was about to say “neither” before Sakura elbowed him sharply in the side, “we’ll take both!” she cut in with a big smile.

“Adventurous! I fucking love it! Man, you kids are too cute, I’ll give it to you real cheap. You got Venmo?” Kiba pulled his phone out to start the transaction. 

Sakura glanced around, they had never been to Kiba’s house before, so this was a new experience all around. She spotted a bowl of water by the kitchen, “uh, can dogs get high?”

Kiba laughed, “you’re probably wondering where Akamaru is! He’s chillin’ in the backyard. He’s cool with it though, he’s a total bro. He’s got hella treats out there, we’ve got hella treats in here. Equality, you feel?”

“For sure, for sure. I’ll just approve the charge now and we’ll be on our way!”

“Not so fast you two! Here at the Kiba Hut, we support tripping out in a safe environment, so you should take Shino’s new-new here.” 

Sasuke and Sakura exchange glances. What did they have to lose?

* * *

Well, for starters, their grasp on reality. 

They sat at Kiba’s kitchen table to take what Shino gave them and saved the edibles for later. And it was like nothing they had ever experienced.

“Sasuke. Your eyes are really red. Like not just the whites but your uh, pupil or whatever is the colored part.”

Sasuke rubbed at his eyes, “no they’re not. I can see them. So I know they’re not red.”

“Uhh, okay? They totally are though. And..did your head get bigger?”

“No but yours did. Ha, if only Ino was here. Hey, forehead. Wait—what the fuck, when did we get so small?”

“Oh my god, you’re so cute. You’re so short, Sasuke, you’re so  _ small!” _

_ *A/N: please imagine them as the SD versions of themselves* _

Sakura started scooting forward on her chair. “What do we do now? How do we get down? We’re so small. We can’t stay here. What the fuck is going on? What did they give us?” 

“It’s so hot in here. What did Kiba say about getting ready to hot box? What does that mean, like sweaty boxing? Where’s our water?” Sasuke looked up to their glasses of water on the table, which seemed miles away in their shrunken state. 

“There’s no way we can reach up there. My head feels too heavy for my body, I’ll fall over if we try to jump.”

“Shit. Shit, okay, take your jacket off, first of all, am I the only one melting? Are the walls melting? Just throw it on the ground and to make a cushion. I’ll throw mine down on top and we can jump down.”

“Are you insane? What if we die?”   
  
Sasuke gave Sakura a judgemental look, “we might as well be, I’m so fucking  _ high!  _ Just jump, I’m sure it won’t be that bad. Plus, I’ll go first and I’ll catch you,” he finished with a wink. He threw his jacket down on the floor with a pointed expression. A burgundy cardigan soon followed. And Sasuke jumped.

A voice sounded from below, “it worked! I made it! Jump now!”

Somehow Sasuke’s now doll proportion arms caught Sakura despite her now huge head. He set her down and started looking for the exit. There was no way they could push the kitchen door open, and he didn’t even want to see Kiba at the moment. It was so hot in the kitchen, he just wanted to get out of there. 

“Sasuke! There!” Sakura pointed across the kitchen to the backyard. The doggy door.

“Fucking score! Let’s go.”

He grabbed her hand and they scurried across the tile as fast as their little legs could take them. But they needed to climb up a small threshold to get through the door, and the run combined with the heat of the kitchen had really drained them. They exchanged a look. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Akamaru’s dog bowl was full of water. 

“Give me a boost!” Sakura told Sasuke as they faced the metal bowl. The way the metal warped their reflection made her feel even more tripped out, if that was possible. She just needed water  _ now.  _

Sakura climbed up onto Sasuke’s clasped hands, grabbing onto the edge of the bowl. She held herself up on the edge and dipped her head to take a cool, refreshing drink.

Except her mouth encountered strands of white dog hair floating all around the water. She nearly toppled backwards as she tried to spit it all out, “ew, ew! Disgusting!” 

Sasuke lowered her and asked as if it wasn’t already apparent, “so I’m guessing I shouldn’t drink the dog water?” She shook her head, “let’s just go outside.”

They walked to Kiba’s lawn and collapsed. It seemed like the sprinklers had just finished their cycle, so the cool, wet grass was a welcome change from the stuffy kitchen. “Sorry for dragging you here. I didn’t think it would be like this,” Sakura spoke quietly. Sasuke was a bit of a homebody to say the least, so when he didn’t have a good time during their outings, she always felt guilty for pushing him too far for comfort. 

But he didn’t care as much as she always thought he did, he just enjoyed spending time with his girlfriend. They would both cherish these memories in the future since they were attending separate colleges. “It wasn’t that bad. Makes for a good story, I guess.” 

Except the night wasn’t over, because a deep growl sounded from the shadowy corner of the yard.

Sakura bolted up, “Akamaru?!” before Sasuke dragged her back down, “are you trying to get us eaten? Keep quiet and just run!” Sasuke pointed to the side gate and without another word, they made a break for it. They didn’t bother locking the gate up again, too intent on getting the fuck out of there. 

Sasuke took one look at his car and said, “nope. I’m not getting in that thing. We’re still coming down and it’s not safe. What if I get a DUI? What if we die? My dad would kill me either way.” Sakura nodded along as they started walking down the street, not another soul in sight. 

Konoha wasn’t a huge town, despite never visiting Kiba’s house before, they could easily make their way back. “Hey, the park isn’t that far away. We could go sober up there then come back for your car?” 

* * *

It seemed like whatever Shino gave them had mostly worn off during their walk and their stone bench looked more inviting than ever. They had shared countless moments there, from their first kiss, to their first “I love you”. They even opened their college acceptance letters there. Sakura swung her legs back and forth on the bench, “You know, I still have the edible in my bag. Should we?”

Sasuke ran a hand through his midnight hair, “Jesus fuck, alright. We’ve gotten this far and I know you wanted to try it. We can split it.” 

They had been sitting and talking for quite some time when Sakura started giggling more and feeling  _ some type of way _ . “Woah. Is this why half our classmates came to school high everyday? What have we been missing?” 

Sasuke’s eyes were half lidded as he slouched on the bench, “maybe Naruto is actually onto something. We should call him. Haha. Naruto. What a loser.”

Sakura started patting around her pockets to call their friend, “Sasuke. I think I left my phone in my cardigan pocket, which we left on the kitchen floor. Fuck, I’m so stupid,” but she was still laughing a little and Sasuke just shrugged. “It be like that. I left mine too. We can get them later and we can call Naruto later. Life is so chill.”

Sakura smiled, “ _ exactly,  _ it really do be like that. And life is  _ so  _ chill. Like woah. Are you hungry by the way?” Sasuke perked up a bit and nodded, “starving. Ichirauku is just around the corner.” 

* * *

Sitting in the vinyl Ichiraku booth waiting for their cheeseburgers, Sakura was relieved to be somewhere she’s familiar with. But then she spotted a face she’s very familiar with after years of sleepovers and flower shop visits: Ino’s dad. She ducked down started tapping her palm the table, “Sasuke, don’t look, don’t look, it’s Ino’s dad. This is terrible, he’s like a fucking mind reader or something he’s  _ totally  _ gonna know we’re  _ high. _ ” 

“Can you stop, he’ll look this way if you keep making noise. Just be chill or something.” He couldn’t help but steal a glance over his shoulder to confirm if it really was Inoichi. “Holy shit, wait. Is that Shikamaru’s dad?”   
  
Sakura craned her neck to see over Sasuke’s head, “it totally is! And they’re with Chouji’s dad too! This is crazy. If they see us they’re gonna tell my  _ mom.  _ And then I’ll be on permanent house arrest.” She sank lower into her chair until her pink head rested on the table. 

Sasuke placed his chin on his folded hands. He had endured enough shenanigans for one night, it was time to just wait this one out. Once he got his cheeseburger with extra tomatoes he was ready to go home and knock out. 

Except Chouza’s laugh carried across the diner, and so did his booming voice, “just like the old days, right guys? We still get the munchies!”   
  
Sakura perked back up when she heard this, “did he just say the munchies? Oh my god, Sasuke they’re high. They probably smoked weed and now they’re here because they have the munchies. Just like you and me. This night is too fucking weird.” 

Thankfully as the trio of dads was about to walk out with their food to-go, the waitress arrived with their order and blocked them from view. The pair ate in relative silence, glad for a moment of calm. But it didn’t last because not long after the dads left, another familiar figure walked in. 

“Sakura, you’ll never fucking believe it. Actually just look, it’s  _ Kakashi. _ ”

She whipped around to see that it really was none other than their favorite literature teacher. She waved him over without thinking twice and Sasuke kicked her under the table. “What are you thinking,” he grits out. Kakashi was cool, hell, cool enough to let everyone call him by his first name, but he was still their teacher. An adult who worked for their school. Someone who could totally get them in trouble. Like, worse than detention, and they’d never even had detention. 

“If it isn’t my favorite students,” Kakashi smiled as if seeing them outside of school was a perfectly normal occurrence. “What are you doing here?” Sakura questioned innocently, as if it wasn’t well into the night and she didn’t reek of weed.    
  
“Picking up some food,” he answered matter-of-factly. “I could ask the same of you two, you’re normally home studying at this time of night, am I wrong?” Nope, he was 100% correct. 

Sasuke chose his words carefully, “tonight has been an anomaly. But I am ready for bed now.” Kakashi nodded, “I see. You look like you’re done eating, so it won’t be long now. Drive carefully.”

The students exchanged a look before Sasuke swallowed his pride and started to beg as best as he knew how, “please, can you drive us home, we walked here from somewhere else and I don’t feel comfortable operating a motor vehicle in my currention condition,  _ if you know what I mean _ .” Kakashi considered the two of them. They were certainly acting strange. Was Sakura trying to wink at him or was that a nervous twitch? 

His eyes crinkled, “one ride won’t hurt, it’s late and what kind of teacher would I be if I left my students out to fend for themselves? I’ll just pick up my order and we can leave.”

* * *

They got situated in the car, just to find their former elementary school teacher Iruka sitting in the passenger seat. Sakura’s jaw dropped as she looks between Kakashi and Iruka. “You,” she points to the gray haired man, “and you?” she points to the ponytailed man. “Huh,” added Sasuke, “I thought Iruka hated tardiness, but Kakashi is late to class everyday.” 

“Honey,” Iruka laughed nervously, “did you not tell your students about us? You always call them your precious students, I mean, I thought you’d tell at least these kids and Naruto.” 

“ _ Yeah,”  _ jeered Sakura from the back seat, “what other secrets are you hiding  _ Kakashi?”  _

“Sakura, shut up, shut up, Naruto texted me to come over now. He has something really cool to show us—or so he says. I wanna see, plus he owes us for sending us to Kiba’s. Kakashi take us to Naruto’s instead.” 

Kakashi sighed, “I’ve seen some shit being a teacher, but I never thought I’d become a chauffeur for my students. But alright.” He made a U-turn and headed to Naruto’s. He had been there plenty of times, seeing as Minato was the school principal and something of a mentor to Kakashi.

* * *

After a car ride filled with the  _ Mamma Mia  _ soundtrack (Iruka claimed it was neutral territory, everyone loves it), they finally got dropped off at Naruto’s. They knocked on the door, ready for whatever surprise Naruto had to show them. When he flung the door open, they had never seen their friend so excited. His blue eyes were sparkling, “hurry! My room!” and he scurried into the house before they could even take their shoes off.

Naruto’s room was already quite a sight to behold considering the orange color scheme and ramen cups littering his desk, but his new orange quilt wasn’t what had Sakura screaming. “Why the fuck do you have a fox? Is that legal? Where did you get that thing?”   
  
The blonde sniffed, “excuse me, ‘that thing’ has a name. Say hi to Kurama. Isn’t he a cutie?” Sasuke crossed his arms. Yup, their best friend had lost his mind. Even the fox’s collar and ID tag were orange. “And just what do you plan on doing with a fox, idiot?”

Naruto considered this for a moment, “I dunno. Didn’t think that far. I got it from this guy I know. Do you think Suna State allows pets in the freshman dorms?” Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. Hopeless, he was really hopeless. And then he remembered how Naruto had let them down earlier, but he didn’t think it was because he had acquired a new pet. “What was that all about earlier? How do you not have weed?” 

“Oh yeah! I have something else to show you! It’ll explain everything. Come into the basement. Say bye to Kurama first.” Sakura half-heartedly waved at the rather grumpy looking fox in his cage before they followed Naruto down below. 

* * *

There was no way the universe wasn’t fucking with them. “Sai? Why the hell are you in Naruto’s basement?”

“So rude, Saucey-k! He’s my guest, you’re a pest! And he’s painting, duh.” Their very strange and very pale friend was sitting in front of a giant canvas that nearly stretched the entire span of the wall. He was adding details to what looked like a picture of Naruto in a loincloth. He was lounging on his side, eating grapes with one hand, and petting a fox with the other.

“Yeah no shit, I can see that,” Sasuke quipped, “but why?” Naruto huffed at him again, like it was obvious, “he needs money for his college tuition, so I commissioned him to paint me and Kurama. I’m looking pretty sexy, right?” Sakura didn’t bother answering him, “how does this ‘explain everything’, though?” 

Naruto snapped two finger guns at them, “oh, right! Sai is an artist. And he does his best work when he’s high. He obviously needed a lot of weed to complete this masterpiece, so I gave him all my weed. It’s like, paying it forward or something.” If at all possible, Sasuke was even more irritated than before. He couldn’t spare a gram for his lifelong best friends, but he could give it all to this guy? Traitor. 

“Well, now that you’ve seen it, we should leave Sai to work in peace. Looks amazing, cutie! Kurama, we’re coming back up, did you miss me already?”

* * *

“Wanna pet him? He’s only bit me six times in the last hour, I think he really likes my vibe or something.” Before either of them could protest, Naruto started opening the cage. “Kurama, come here, come here. Who’s a good boy? Who wants to get pet?” His arms made a circle for Kurama to settle into when the fox started stalking towards the cage door. He pounced through the gap in Naruto’s arms and hit the ground running. 

“Kurama, wait! We were just becoming such good friends! Come back here!” The trio immediately chased after the animal, but he was too fast and he escaped out of their doggy door and into the night. They rushed into the backyard just in time to see Kurama leap over the fence and out of the Uzumaki property. 

They all plopped down onto the grass and Naruto started wailing, “he’s gone! What did I do wrong? Please, you guys we have to find him!” They definitely weren’t high anymore, they were too tired for this, but they weren’t shitty friends, so they agreed to go look for him. 

* * *

They had even enlisted Sai to help them out. As they walked around Naruto’s neighborhood calling for Kurama, Naruto’s phone started ringing, “do you think Kurama is calling? He wants to come home!” He started excitedly fishing his phone out of his front pocket, “Kiba? Why would he be calling now?” Sasuke and Sakura settled on the sidewalk, expecting some weird conversation between dealers. 

“You found him? Holy shit man! Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there soon! Thanks bro!” he hung up the phone and faced his friends, “Kiba found Kurama! Let’s go, we have to go now before Kurama starts missing me too much!” 

And they were headed back to the place where the night had begun. 

* * *

Thankfully Kiba only lived a few blocks away because Sakura’s feet were dragging with exhaustion. They were standing in Kiba’s backyard and she leaned against Sasuke’s shoulder as they listened to the explanation. The back gate was mysteriously left open, and Akamaru wandered out into the front yard. He was having a relaxing evening chewing a bone on the front lawn when a fox appeared. It seemed that the fox smelled Akamaru’s treat bank in the back and wanted a taste for himself. When Akamaru started barking like mad, very peeved that some other animal was trying to get at his precious treats, Kiba went outside to see what was going on. He just thought he was hallucinating since he was super high, but it was really a fox.

“And then I saw he had a tag and it had your name and number!” Kiba finished. Naruto had tears in his eyes, “that’s amazing. Kurama probably smelled Akamaru and just wanted a friend. Friendship is so powerful!” He was hand feeding Kurama treats, who looked much more complacent now that he was being fed. 

They all made their way back into the house just as Kiba’s kickback was winding down. Sai disappeared into the kitchen for a while, returning with a cardigan and a jacket. “Ugly, this is a terrible color I’ve only ever seen you wear. And your boyfriend is basically attached to you, so I’m assuming this is his.” Sakura reached out to grab them from his hands before settling back on the couch. 

“Thanks again, Kiba. I’m gonna take Kurama home now,” Naruto turned to face Sasuke and Sakura. “You two live in the opposite direction. Are you gonna walk?”

“I can drive.” The whole group looked to the front of the room where the voice came from. “Shino?” asked Sakura, “I didn’t even realize you were still here. And aren’t you high?”

“I’m the supplier and the designated driver.” When he offer any further explanation, Sasuke and Sakura shrugged and got up from the couch. Sasuke could get his car tomorrow. A free ride back to his comfy bed sounded wonderful.

* * *

Sakura had fallen asleep almost immediately when she got back to her own room, not even bothering to change her outfit. It had to be well into the afternoon when she finally woke up. Her head felt fuzzy and her mouth was dry. Was last night even real? 

She grabbed her phone out of her cardigan pocket just to find that it was dead. But her pocket also held a napkin, “what is this? I don’t remember putting this in here?” 

She unfolded the white napkin to see one of Sai’s signature ink drawings. It depicted Sakura, drawn in red pen, leaning against Sasuke, drawn in blue pen. He even added a bit of background—it looked like the grass and fence of Kiba’s backyard. He must’ve drawn it when he went into the kitchen. Sakura plugged her phone in and flopped back down onto her bed. She stared at the little drawing, wishing she was with Sasuke right now. 

So last night was real. 

**Author's Note:**

> this isnt meant to make nerds feel bad about staying at home. im writing fanfic so i am the nerd at home
> 
> i also finished this at like 5 am so i apologize for any mistakes lol not that this is a serious work though


End file.
